Skip to main content

Best FML ever.

God forbid some trampy bitch does this to my future kid, I'll be this mom:

Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her to the movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep. Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom then pointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw a full bag of popcorn at her.

And to my future son, I apologize for embarrassing you. You'll thank me in the end.

Comments

revolutionaire. said…
seriously. I'm still laughing over this.

I would totally do that, you know?
Samsmama said…
Hysterical. And I'm totally that mom.

Popular posts from this blog

This Just In...

One of my favorite members/clients just called for the second time today. He is one of my favorites because he's always polite, asks to talk to me when he needs something he knows is my job to do, and always says he appreciates everything I do here. Earlier he said I sounded tired and that I should catch up on my sleep all weekend, the second time he called, he said I sounded a little better, but I must have partied far too hard. When I told him I actually worked last night, he said, "wow, you work two jobs... dang girl." I've decided I'm taking that as a compliment. This just in : I hung up the phone after taking a message from him and it immediately rang back. When I answered it, it was him AGAIN. This time I laughed when he identified himself and said, "you just want to talk to me, don't you?" His answer was actually yes. When I politely declined, he was all, "oh, I understand. Could I talk to Fred?" When I turned around to look for Fred...

603.

I never told you this story, but when I was a three, I had to have physical therapy for a broken femur. Every single day we drove to PT, we went over a small, fairly insignificant overpass with had a shopping plaza below it. The address for the shopping plaza was just barely visible over the bridge. And it was 603. And every single day as we went over, I would excitedly blurt out the numbers to show my mom I recognized them. This turned into a game for us. And eventually, a tradition. Fast forward into my "more grown up" ages ... like ... high school. And, if you could be a fly in my truck, you would have without a doubt witnessed me driving over the overpass by myself and, sure enough, I'd just say it ... "six oh three." Shortly after high school is when I met Seth, Tommy, Leif, Troy, and Jonesy in Gainesville. Still, there was no connection. Their friends and families came to visit, we then bonded, they returned home, and still, nothing. It wasn't until th...

What did the rug say to the floor?

I'm just going to bust out and say it... I don't have anything to say. So it's list time again. 1. Against Me! I thought about it and thought about it and really... it's not able to be summed up in a blog. I saw them two weekends ago and still have a certain amount of euphoria clouding me. And I'm supremely happy about that. I met new -- and entirely temporary -- friends at that show. A group of guys (and a couple girls) struck up conversation with me at the bar and we spent most of the evening hanging out, sipping beer, and talking about music and the movie Independence Day. It was easily a far better time than I would have had if I hadn't made any friends. 2. I've had a handful of people offer to help me get my foot in the door with TOEFL & international schools. In fact, the sister of my co-worker returned last night from China and she said you don't even need a teaching degree -- just certification with TOEFL. She told her brother -- my co-worker...