"Aunt Kathy"

While we were all there for a very, very shitty reason, it wasn't hard to find the positive. Her husband, Larry said some pretty moving things -- things that drove us all to tears, of course. But things we needed to really think about. Sitting under a pavilion at a park that overlooked the Smokies and Douglas Dam, were four generations of my mom's family.

"Ormond and Boys."

Again, I'm totally one of the dudes. (No, I didn't see and wieners.) But I did learn that some guys go commando under their swim trunks and some don't... apparently not going commando helps prevent chaffing. Nice little tidbit I wouldn't have been privy to if I somehow fell into the 'girl' category.

"RPT: Secret Places."

I'm not a globe trotter just yet -- some day, but not yet --But I have seen a fairly decent chunk of the country. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the place this photo was taken is, and will always be, my favorite place in the world.

"Weight Maintenance."

This past weekend was bad though, I mean really bad. I spent all of Friday in the car, and dined on fast food for lunch and dinner (which makes me feel sick). Saturday was a bridal shower with the most delicious foods and cake, but before that I had Denny's for breakfast. And after, went to Red Lobster with my mom.

"See you soon."

I'm taking Nhyya and Detra out to a nice dinner tomorrow after I get out of work. And after that, I'm taking Nhyya to pick out her first baby doll. They're moving to California on Sunday and I'm emotionally overwhelmed by this. (I won't say distraught, because that would be dramatic, but I'm really, really, really, really upset.)

Cheers, Ryan!

It wasn't until I cornered Ryan, still virtual strangers, and asked what his "deal" was that I actually learned he wasn't really a student in the class. And Ryan earned the new nickname, "Phantom" for the simple fact that no one ever witnessed his presence, but there were always signs that he had recently been present.

Cinco De Mustache

Aye, Aye, Aye-Aye. Cinco De Mustache ...

Bums Talking Politics

Then, I shit you not, he stopped mid-sentence, looked at the Obama sticker on the side window of my car, and said "there's gonna be a revolution. They're going to kill Obama." And then frowned...

Something Ridiculous

These things -- the dogs and the truck startled me awake. Still laying down, my eyes flew open, my right arm uncrossed from my left, I grabbed my keys and phone, and jumped out of the car . . .

The Wanderlust

Thanks to Leslie, I'm itching for it. I keep looking at her pictures (she's spending time in Hawaii right now and living it up) and I'm thinking, holy crap I need to be some place other than Ocala right now.

8 People

...I resent the way life works. I hate that the most intriguing and beautiful and wise people of my life all passed away before I was old enough to appreciate them and value their wealth of knowledge, experience, and stories.

Problematic People

In my childhood there were people, famous and legendary people, I thought obtained experiences that I could never fathom knowing. But as I grew older, I learned my own father had more, and better, stories to tell than I could ever get from following the lives of the famous.

Surprises

... I don't secretly long for the day that someone throws me a surprise party. [...] I wouldn't want it to be one of those awkward situations where people gradually leak niblets of information that eventually lead to me knowing in advance that when I arrive at my home, mysteriously, every single light in the house will be off.

Pensacola then Texas

I drank two delicious glasses of Pino Grigio with with my Chicken Brian, then continued the festivities at Loren and Ang's house with the ever so delicious sweet tea vodka Loren served up. Following dinner and post dinner drinks, Trevor, Nick, Patrick, and myself went back to Trevor & Nick's apartment and played Guitar Hero until our fingers fell off.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Day 4: Food

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 8:54 PM 0 comments

Today's lunch: Planters protein pack. It's actually quite perfect.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Day 3: Dominic

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 7:44 AM 0 comments
Dominic built a "giant crane arm" with his Legos
Last night, while I was bustling around doing laundry and tidying up the kitchen after making dinner, Dominic got suspiciously quiet in the living room. I took a silent peek out of the kitchen to see if he was in sight - lo and behold, he had found his bag of Legos and was diligently working to make something.

I am realizing that if I give Dominic space to be creative, the results are cheerful and fun. He made this fantastic "giant crane arm!" and was so proud to show me how it could also be a giant green "tooth brush!"

It was within this same hour that I heard him talking and peeked down the stairs to see him playing with his Lego Duplo excavator. He had planted a Lego worker in the middle of the living room floor and was driving the excavator over toward him while saying, "hey, do you need a lift?" He stopped the excavator, lowered the arm and bucket, then made the Lego worker climb into the bucket before lifting it back up and driving back to the area he was playing in. It was a very creative and fun moment for me to witness.

You know, part of me wants to take credit for his creative mind - I was this same way as a child. My mom tells a story about how her friend was watching me while she was at an appointment with my sister. I was playing with my Barbie dolls and, after the fact, her friend asked her if I ever watched soap operas because the Barbies were so dramatic. HAH!

But then there's the whole school aspect that I need to factor in. Dominic has been attending a phenomenal school for about six months. I'd be selling the school short if I didn't give them some kind of credit for his expansion into creative activities.

Anyway, happy day! Happy kid! Happy Mom!

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

selfiewareness

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 5:41 AM 0 comments

I'm working on loving myself better. And more. I am going to accept the body I have, cherish it, do good things for it, and listen to it. 

Once upon a time, I was pretty good at those things, but the attention to details and self care have fallen off over the years - as has my awareness and acceptance of the fact that all things are connected. 

Turning into a new year, I'm committing to this once again. 

Monday, January 1, 2018

2018, how I love thee.

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 10:13 AM 0 comments
Dominic is speaking to Susan (T-T) on the phone while he creates things with his building blocks.


I made a commitment to myself that this is the year I dedicate to finding myself again.

I don't think I'm completely lost, but sometimes I know I am. I forget myself; I forget what matters to me; I forget to pay attention to me and to take care of my own body.

I'm making a commitment this year to find and give attention to the things that matter to me most. And, you know, after all this time not giving attention to those things, it's going to take forced change. It's going to mean redefining habits and best uses of time.

Here are three examples of measurable, tangible changes I've already made: 
1. I'm blogging again - obviously. The topics will get better - wiser - as time goes on. But the idea is just to write it down. Whatever it may be.
2. Photograph something every day. I want to really capture moments; even if they're insignificant. I just want to be able to look back at this year and lay eyes on moments from each day that mattered to me.
3. Read more. JM bought me Tranny, by Laura Jane Grace for Christmas. I just started it yesterday and I'm excited to say I'm already about 100 pages into it.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Begin Again

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 5:13 PM 0 comments

You know how when you get on a bike for the first time in years, you're a bit wobbly?

That's how it has felt every time I've tried to start this return blog.

I start drafting it, delete, and start again.

I think what might be best would be to write a quick entry about what I want to share. And then go from there.

Objective of reviving the blog: eventually I'd like to just find myself wanting to write about the experiences I have - big ones, small ones, whatever.

I think this time I won't write the recap entry that tells you all about what's happened since I last wrote. All of that stuff will eventually come up in context, it seems silly to drudge it all up in one lengthy blog. So what I'll do instead is start in the now.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Dear Premier Pediactrics, We Are Still Not Patients There Anymore.

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 11:04 AM 0 comments
The following is an email I wrote to Dominic's first pediatrician's office. Almost exactly two years after we stopped going there, we are suddenly getting appointment recommendations, health tip emails, and more. The email below is my heartfelt explanation for why we left and what I wish for the pediatrician's office behaviors toward other mothers who do bring their children there. 

___________


Good afternoon Dr. Eunus and staff, 

I am writing in response to Portal messages, which I have also unsubscribed from. You see, for a period, I was just disregarding any Premier Pediatrics material I received. Prior to that, I informed the Dunnellon location that we were no longer patients there. Then the Portal messages began recently.

You see, we are not patients at Premier Pediatrics. We stopped being patients there when our son was one month old (March of 2015) because of the lack of proper diagnosis of ankyloglossia which led to less than adequate weight gain and nutrition. At one month old, my husband and I independently made an appointment with a lactation consultant and second physician who diagnosed his condition within minutes of our first visit. This, after our physician at Premier Pediatrics recommended we formula feed our son as a remedy to his lack of weight gain for the fourth time (each time a different formula), and despite there being multiple indicators that there was an underlying issue beyond his getting inadequate milk supply from my body, AND despite her doing exams of his mouth upon every visit as part of her routine process. 

We followed her advice each time while still attempting to breastfeed periodically and pump any time we provided a bottle instead. This meant I was able to measure the amount of milk my body was producing on my son's schedule. I relayed this information to our physician at Premier and expressed to her that I felt confident if I could pump that much, that the problem must be between my nipple and Dominic's mouth, not with my actual milk production and supply. We saw our physician at Premier primarily at the Dunnellon location. We visited the Ocala location once because I felt strongly he needed to be seen and Heather was not at the Dunnellon location the day I needed her. This time in Ocala, I was so upset, my mom came with me.  

As a newly postpartum mother, with intuition telling me something else was wrong with my baby, the diagnosis from a second physician was both a massive relief and extremely upsetting. How, after a month of struggling to keep him satiated, staying up literally entire nights to make him comfortable enough to sleep even for the shortest of time spans on my chest, and speaking at length with Heather repeated about how I was confident there was something wrong, how could it be so simple? How did Heather not diagnosis this? We went back for one last check-up at Premier after Dominic was diagnosed. We informed our physician of the diagnosis. And the response was cavalier at best. I remember it vividly. I was emotional, raw, in may ways relieved, and still upset to say the least. I collected my emotions enough to tell her what we had learned, and the response was barely more than an "oh, okay." That was the last time we set foot in a Premier Pediatrics facility.

Dominic had a tough start in the world. After eight days in the NICU for persistent pulmonary hypertension, he was finally coming home to us and then just a few shorts days after that, seeing his pediatrician for the first time. I imagine if things had started differently for him - if he hadn't been in NICU - maybe his ankyloglossia would have been identified at the hospital because maybe I would have had more opportunities to breastfeed him before we were discharged and maybe someone would have noticed. But that wasn't the chance his was given; he was given instead a feeding tube and one small syringe of milk at a time. 

Imagine the guilt I felt - and still feel, knowing my body was producing enough milk and yet watching my baby struggle to find nourishment from breastfeeding. Imagine the pain of failing my son when I learned he had been barely eating and what calories he did ingest, he burned off by working so hard at nursing, for an entire month. For his entire first month.  My heart still hurts from this. I still look at my healthy, young son and feel disappointment for not acting sooner when my instincts told me something wasn't right. He's strong, he's incredibly bright, he exceeds all my wildest expectations. And yet I still sometimes think about how I let him down that first month of his life. 

My intentions in writing this email are not entirely selfish. Admittedly, I do feel relieved after getting my feelings out. And I may even find some closure in sending this email, but mostly, I wish Premier Pediatrics would take my message to heart. Please listen next time a mom tells you she feels something else is not right - please look beyond the obvious solution. The month we were patients there, struggling to identify the problem Dominic was having, was long, exhausting, and mildly traumatic; I don't wish that on any mother, especially a new one - especially one just finding her voice, and most especially one who is counting on her physician to be her and her child's advocate. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I do wish everyone well. 

Friday, March 3, 2017

McIntosh Baby Squirrel

Posted by Alison Soracchi at 7:30 AM 0 comments
So ... JM rescued a baby squirrel yesterday. She'd fallen from a majestic oak in our yard during a storm, narrowly missing the hood of JM's car. She was soaked. He scooped her up, wrapped her in Dominic's scarf, and tried to clean her up. Meanwhile, I searched for the name and number of the squirrel guy from last September. JM put her on a heating pad in a basket, wrapped in the scarf and then I took her to work with me for the afternoon. When I did reach the squirrel guy (David), he was thankful we found her and happy to take over her care.
Susan, Dominic, and I took her to him last night after work. She's doing really well, is big for her age and seems quite healthy. He estimates she's about six weeks old - eyes are still closed, but he thinks they'll be open by the beginning of next week.




 

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