Tuesday, February 24, 2009

8 people from my life I miss most.

Posted by revolutionaire. at 6:54 AM
Eight people I miss.

Miss –verb (used with object)
1. to notice the absence or loss of
2. to regret the absence or loss of
3. loss; want; felt absence

1. Aunt Terry - She moved to Citra when I was in high school and when I was finally old enough to appreciate her particular demeanor, she was far more tame than I recalled her being. She still had it, but -- maybe because of my age -- it seemed more reigned in than I recall. She passed away in August of 2002, just after Susan's birthday, and several months before my graduation. She didn't miss Jeff's or Susan's graduations and for mine, not even death could keep her away -- she was still with me that day in the form of the rain that fell. To this day, I wonder if she knew she had cancer before she moved up here. If I could cross the barrier between this world and the afterlife, she's the first person I'd want to talk to again.

2. Grandma Scott (Eloise) - Who wouldn't miss their grandma after she passed away? There isn't ever going to be another Eloise Scott in this world. There just isn't. She was a remarkable woman and, growing up, I feel like I knew her only as well as a child could. There are certain things I wish for in this world, and one of them relates to the death of the only grandfather I ever knew and one of my grandmas. I resent the way life works. I hate that the most intriguing and beautiful and wise people of my life all passed away before I was old enough to appreciate them and value their wealth of knowledge, experience, and stories. If there's one thing I've learned from the deaths of Grandma Scott and Aunt Terry (and my grandpa), it's that before I'm much older I will record stories my parents tell me, scan pictures of our heritage, and try to make something for their grandkids to keep and know our family history. My dad urged me a couple years ago to do this with Grandma, and I never got around to it. I regret that immensely now. But I won't make the same mistake twice.

3. Seth Fernandes - If I had to name one specific thing I miss about Seth, I would fail. I miss times like the one Susan and I drove to a house the whole band was living in, bearing cookies and milk for snack, to find Seth had cooked dinner for a house of about six people, plus us. I miss the time I flew to New Hampshire and he and Heather invited me to stay on their couch, then he and I spent an entire day doing mindless things just to spend the day together. I miss the way he'd excitedly tell me about whatever was new with him -- usually truck or hunting related. I miss the way he'd sit down and strum away on an acoustic and let me listen and smile. For the longest time I secretly held out hope he would move back to Gainesville with Heather and Isabelle. He's such a good friend to me.

4. Collin and Shannon - I miss them because they're ridiculously important to me. I photographed their wedding and took almost 1500 pictures -- that's how important they are. I used to drive to Gainesville every Thursday after class, go out with Susan to the local bar where Collin worked (and got free drinks), then drive Collin home at night and listen to him while he played any of several musical instruments he had in his apartment. I miss Shannon because she's one of most genuine and non-confrontational girls I know. She is so perfect, yet so humble and caring and considerate. (And she's tall like me.) When I met her, I knew there was something fantastic about her.

5. Gary - I miss him. I don't know what else to say. I feel like I end up writing about him a lot, but it's all founded material. We've known each other, and been friends, for 18 years now. I don't get to see him much these days, and it's starting to wear on me. It was just a few short months ago, I was stopping in the hardware store every afternoon after work to catch up with him, discuss our lives, and listen to some really good music. I want to go to the beach again soon . . . sort of in honor of him. I'll have to pick a day scheduled for beautiful waves.

6. Leslie - Of my peers, Leslie is the most inspiring. She is an artist - to the bone. She is creative in the physical arts, like sculpting and ceramics. But moreso, she is a phenomenon in the visual arts realm. She photographs like no other I know. Yet as at home as she is behind her various lenses and cameras, she is absolutely stunning in front of the camera and this quality is such a beautiful rarity. She encompasses everything I strive to be -- in touch with Earth, enveloped by happiness and optimism, living a more full life than I thought possible at our young age, and aiming to make changes in our world. And the last two times we sat together over food and drink, both our lives changed. The first of the last two times, we went through hundreds of photos to pick a select few to get her accepted into Ringling College of Art (I was honored she asked for my opinion). She got accepted. The second time we sat together at Harry's and, I don't know about her, but I walked away feeling like I'd never been more in touch with my goals, more spot on with my plans, and more certain about where I am in this world. And who I am. She draws passion and recognition of mortality, responsibility, and purpose out of me -- she inspires me to keep working toward what I want, even if what I want changes. Man, I miss her.

7. Cindy - I saw Cindy at Hobby Lobby a few months ago by now. We were supposed to get together over coffee or dinner and fill each other in on what's been happening in our respective lives all this time we've been out of touch. We never did. I miss her because sometimes I need her in my life and I think she doesn't realize that. And neither of us are gifted in the ways of keeping in touch or taking the initiative when it comes to getting together. Just the other day, she wrote me and invited me to lunch this week, but I can't do it because I'm moving and I'm overwhelmed. It seems to always be something. We live very, very different lives. And I'm not sure that we're able to be the incredibly inseperable friends we once were, and that's something I'm okay with as long as it doesn't mean we can't be friends at all. I miss the way we used to be continually on the same wavelength.

8. And, of course, Jon-Michael - I miss him because until the day comes that I get to fall asleep in our bed every night, wake up in our house, and live our life, I won't be as contented as I know I can be.

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