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Moving on.

I'm just going to bypass the whole where I've been and why I've been M.I.A. mumbo jumbo. I ran out of things to say, my life got boring, things didn't happen, things DID happen, whatever. I wasn't around. Now, here's why I'm writing today.

1.I still have multiple paying jobs because none of them will offer me full time.
2.Business endeavors.
3.I just moved in with my boyfriend, future husband, and soul mate.

Let's talk about number three.

We just took the plunge. No, not marriage, although our phone company seems to think so – I received a rebate check address to Alison Scott Soracchi. It's a damn good thing I work at a bank. They deposited it, no problem. We moved in together. We took that step. After four and a half grueling years of battling the side effects of living a long distance relationship, we actually moved in together.

And I can say without question now, that getting laid off from the labor union was the best thing to ever happen to my life with Jon-Michael. If I still worked there and he still worked where he works, I know without a shadow of a doubt, I wouldn't have made the transition to our new town – the commute would have been entirely too taxing for the pay I was making.

So we live together now. We have this home, and it's coming together quite nicely. We have curtains up, and an area rug between our sectional and television. We have a cute bathroom and a nice master bedroom, and – the best part – a beautiful back yard for our girls and my gardening. Our life together is really taking off. I feel a difference in us... one I used to say would happen when this day came, but don't know that I ever even believed myself.

I used to tell my Love that the day we moved in together, my need for him would lessen, he'd have more off time to himself – I wouldn't be so greedy of his free time. And after just two weeks, it's already true. Used to be, I'd want to occupy every waking moment he had available because those were the only moments I'd get to see him for the week. Now I don't really mind being separated from him because I know at the end of the day, he will come lay down with me. Each and every night. We are in a phenomenal place. We've never been so happy and I've never been so certain that I am going to spend the rest of my life being the complementing (and complimenting) second half to his.

Maybe it's obvious that I'm tremendously happy with my personal life right now. Good.

Moving on though. Since February, I've been working four paying jobs to make ends meet. I have two “regular” jobs – retail and banking. And I have two more flexible jobs – web design/maintenance and wedding photography. I wouldn't be complaining except that I can't seem to get the two regular jobs schedules to successfully co-exist.

Not that I ever doubted the difficulty of working two jobs and balancing those schedules, but I now have great respect for anyone who does it permanently. See, despite the fact that as long as I work for my two current employers, I will most likely have to work for both of them, I still don't view working two jobs as a permanent situation for me; it's just not something I have any intention of spending such a large portion of my precious life on. Thanks but no thanks.

Once again, moving on. The business endeavor my close friend, Ryan, and I have been working on for the last several months has just hit a giant, ultra-intimidating road block. I'm stalled, but not thwarted. We can work around it, but it's going to be a challenge determining where to go from here. And, understandably I hope, at this point, I'd rather not go into much detail.

Lately I feel like I've been working really hard – burning the candle at both ends, and not only not seeing any rewards, but also not making so much as an inch of progress. It's becoming cumbersome. And lends to less desire to set high goals and then achieve them. Obviously, I'm bothered by this. I love setting myself up a nice lofty goal to reach and then actually reaching it. Lately though, it's just been one strike out after another.

I tend to believe there is nothing too difficult for me to accomplish, or learn, so when I do fail, I have a much easier job blaming my inabilities or lack of will to reach my goal than I do to admit what I am trying to do or learn is actually quite difficult. I'm hard on myself. Plenty hard enough that whoever may be teaching me need not be that hard at all. In fact, not that I find it fair to blame other people when I make a mistake, but usually if I am taught something fully and fully correctly, I practice the same habit – or ask questions. If I were a cat, I'd have been dead years ago from all my curiosity.

And one last thing... I've been entirely too busy lately. And you know, that's sad. I used to make time for my family Hell or high water. I was the one to be counted on. I spent time with all my friends, had plenty of down time for myself, loved my life and lived every moment of it. These days I work, sleep, wake, work, sleep. It's terrible. When did I lose my sight of the most valuable things in my life?

Yesterday I was driving home when I caught quite beautiful colorations in the sky and for the life of me, I couldn't remember the last time I noticed how beautiful my surroundings were. At the beginning of the summer, I vowed I'd visit the beach more. Then this oil disaster occurred and, even with that pressure to see the beaches potentially one last time, I still haven't found time to get there.

I came to the realization I am catering to far too many situations that do not make my life a happier one. I'm spending too much time and effort on things that result in little to no benefit for me. And that is going to change because ultimately, there isn't a single thing on this planet that I want to be part of if it doesn't make my life a happier one.

Moving on.

Comments

Samsmama said…
I am so, super duper excited to get this very informative recap as to what's going on in Rev's world. Congrats to you and JM! And I completely agree with you; I was 100% craving Dave ALL THE TIME before he moved in. Now? I enjoy some time to myself, am all for him doing "his thang", and love the comfort in knowing that at the end of the day, I'll see him in bed.


Good luck with everything! And don't be a stranger!

oxox

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