I am Pirate Helga, the Fashionably Late.

I was playing 20Q with a friend of mine today and I asked him, if he were a pirate, what would he want his name to be. His answer (which too merely seconds to think up): Woodley, the Plunderer. How ridiculously hilarious! I wish I was that quick with my wit. For curiosity's sake, he asked what mine would be and I honestly couldn't think of one. So I Googled pirate name generators and found these:

Alison: Giant Blair Blythe
Alison Meredith: Pirate Gertrude, the Off-White
Alison Scott: Saggin' Jowls Mae
Clementine: Cap'n Bianca Slashface
Plain Ol' Alison: Pirate Helga, the Fashionably Late
Meredith: Cap'n Nadine Bloodbeard
Brigitte (this was my name in French class, because Alison didn't translate): Sea Monkey Jezabel

Honest to goodness, if my real name was Cap'n Nadine Bloodbeard, I'd shoot myself. No lie.

Want to try yours? Here.

Comments

Someone busier than you is running right now.

I have a confession to make to my spark buddy, Melissa: I did not go for a run last night. I'm terrible, I know. Here's what else I know: 1. I have never made such great progress in getting into shape as I did when I was jogging regularly. 2. My knee starts to stay in a constant state of noticeable discomfort after I've jogged for over a week. 3. I miss the liberating feeling of running. 4. I miss the empowerment of cross-training (biking, swimming, running) So I've been perusing the intarwebz for motivational media this morning. And while I hate Nike for their shoddy work ethic, jacked up prices, and apparently tiny clothes, I love them for their motivational material. I just have yet to find any media more inspiring to me than the following advertisements. And ... "I am addicted. I've collected footsteps before dawn. Seen places I never knew existed. Run to the moon and back. Been a rabbit for the neighborhood dogs. Obeyed the voice in my head. Let music carr...

I am Doris.

Thank you Laura for the link. This was interesting. I could relate to more than one of the posed situations. Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz... You Are a Doris! You are a Doris -- "I must help others." Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs. How to Get Along with Me * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific. * Share fun times with me. * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. * Let me know that I am important and special to you. * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me. In Intimate Relationships * Reassure me that I am interesting to you. * Reassure me often that you love me. * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. What I Like About Being a Doris * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives...

Go Relax! (And I have a question for my readers.)

Okay ... maybe I've been under a bit of stress lately. I'll admit, I have a tendency to carry a packed schedule. And for the most part, I can do this quite well. But there are times -- and I think they come in waves -- that I need to gtfo and decompress. This is why you suddenly find out I went to the beach, or was MIA for an entire weekend. It happens. It's been happening for my entire adult life. Those who know me, either embrace it, or get over the fact that I'm not changing. But I have to confess, even for me, the schedule lately has been an overwhelming one. At the end of May I was looking at my calendar and realized from that day through the middle of July, there isn't a single vacant weekend. I wish I were kidding. As much as I love being busy and having parties, volunteering, getting together with friends for coffee, and all of that fun stuff, if I don't get to take a long, retardedly hot shower every few nights and turn my phone off from time to time, ...

never fully-clothed or intentionally misinforming

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