Tonight I find myself with a list of names, 61 cards to make, and no motivation. Where is my Christmas spirit? Maybe if I sat in the room with the Christmas tree and music playing... I might try that tomorrow night when nothing else has piqued my interest.
I have friends (hence the 61 cards). Thank God. And like all the people in the world at one point or another, some of my friends have fallen into rough patches. Rough patches, I say that include anything from relationship crap, health issues, car trouble, accidentally throwing something into a dumpster that you shouldn't have, financial problems, school trouble, losing a job, lackluster lifestyles... whathaveyou.
I always want to be available to listen, but sometimes it's difficult for me to simply be a human diary for a friend. This stems from my unexplainable passion for finding solutions.
Perfect example: Susan called the house tonight and, with a very snarky laugh, said "I threw the cupholder for my car into the dumpster today." (it was stuck to the bottle that had been placed in the holder) Immediately I asked her if she had tried to fish it out. When she said no, I suggested a slew of make-shift tools to aid in the retrieval. Later I found out none of which worked.
As much as I want to listen and offer a gentle ear and kind, almost brain-numbing consoling, it physically pains me to hear my friends in distress. My instructing on solutions always comes with the best of intentions, but often times is executed with the poorest of tact or tenderness (and I've acknowledged this more than once). Susan, I'm sorry for all but telling you to dumpster dive for a cupholder you can probably much more easily replace or go without.
At the same time however, sometimes I find my friends take my occasionally all-too-accurate suggestions as attacks on them personally. It's as if they feel my suggestions are criticisms of their situations. This makes me sad and reluctant to ever say anything at all. I don't know any other way than to say exactly what I believe will fix a situation and it is never my intention to be critical of my friends.
I know very few people who are aware of more wayward doings than I and who judge less. And this shows in the number of people who trust my ear and trust my locked lips -- and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I don't think it's wrong of me to be hurt by the attitudes of my friends who misunderstand the suggestions I offer.
I have friends (hence the 61 cards). Thank God. And like all the people in the world at one point or another, some of my friends have fallen into rough patches. Rough patches, I say that include anything from relationship crap, health issues, car trouble, accidentally throwing something into a dumpster that you shouldn't have, financial problems, school trouble, losing a job, lackluster lifestyles... whathaveyou.
I always want to be available to listen, but sometimes it's difficult for me to simply be a human diary for a friend. This stems from my unexplainable passion for finding solutions.
Perfect example: Susan called the house tonight and, with a very snarky laugh, said "I threw the cupholder for my car into the dumpster today." (it was stuck to the bottle that had been placed in the holder) Immediately I asked her if she had tried to fish it out. When she said no, I suggested a slew of make-shift tools to aid in the retrieval. Later I found out none of which worked.
As much as I want to listen and offer a gentle ear and kind, almost brain-numbing consoling, it physically pains me to hear my friends in distress. My instructing on solutions always comes with the best of intentions, but often times is executed with the poorest of tact or tenderness (and I've acknowledged this more than once). Susan, I'm sorry for all but telling you to dumpster dive for a cupholder you can probably much more easily replace or go without.
At the same time however, sometimes I find my friends take my occasionally all-too-accurate suggestions as attacks on them personally. It's as if they feel my suggestions are criticisms of their situations. This makes me sad and reluctant to ever say anything at all. I don't know any other way than to say exactly what I believe will fix a situation and it is never my intention to be critical of my friends.
I know very few people who are aware of more wayward doings than I and who judge less. And this shows in the number of people who trust my ear and trust my locked lips -- and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I don't think it's wrong of me to be hurt by the attitudes of my friends who misunderstand the suggestions I offer.
Comments
Sorry about that situation, though. That's tough.
btw, I didn't have much Christmas spirit until I had kids. Now I'm about to pop with Christmas cheer. :-)