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Today, April 23, 2019

I had a dream right before I woke up and if I don't write it down, I'll forget.

Susan and I were together in a hair supply store like Sally's. We were looking at hair dyes and talking about how she gave herself a cut and color once. And she loved it and I loved it and some people made fun of her for the harshness of the black she chose.

We hugged so hard in the dream I could feel it in my sleep.

And when we we're hugging she told me softly that all her fish hooks we're missing. But she smiled when she said it, like maybe she knew it didn't make much sense. Or maybe she knows someone swiped them from her room to keep as a memento. (I thought of Dad.)

I will remember the feeling of that hug and the smile on her face all day.

Edit: I have thought more about Susan mentioning fish hooks. I wonder if it's some kind of symbolism. Not that someone literally took them, but that maybe she's missing the ones she needs in order to catch something or someone. It's so murky, I know.

At first when she said fish hooks, I thought of her piercings. We referred to a friend's piercings as the contents of a tackle box more than once - maybe it was a call-back to that. Or, maybe it was dream terminology for being able to connect with people. For me, she has figured out she can reach me through dreams. For someone like our brother, who cannot remember his dreams, maybe she cannot.

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