I don't typically feed off of the positive reinforcement of my peers. I've never been one who looks to others for approval. I just do what I do and don't ask for much. Now, do I have expectations or needs? Sure. But that doesn't make me selfish or needy. That just means I'm human -- with emotions, and sensitivity. The expectations and needs I do have are simple things -- things any mildly advanced primate could do.
Seriously, I don't ask for much. Love me? Care about my feelings? Put in some effort from time to time? By no standards are any of those things too much to ask.
But for fuck's sake. I lost ten pounds. TEN fucking POUNDS and there are more perfect strangers happy for me than there are close friends. Susan, my sister, is the ONLY person who's said she's noticed the difference. And even if she's lying (and I'm not saying she is), at least she's fucking encouraging me.
I've been trying so damn hard to lose weight, to maintain a healthier diet, and to weave more physical activity into my lifestyle. And every day I'm doing that all by myself, save for the encouragement of a group of strangers all clustered together in one tiny corner of the world wide web -- SparkPeople. But this is one area of my life where I could use a little encouragement from the people who know me best. I'm struggling to change 24 years worth of grazing and inactivity habits and you people (my friends) don't seem to understand the complexity of it (excluding a very select few -- of which, none are my best friends . . . puzzling.).
How often do I need you? How often do I really ask for something? And how simply manageable is my request when I do have one?
In a time when I could use you more than ever, you're all falling short. Every last one of you.
And I need the fucking ocean and there's nothing else to say about that.
Seriously, I don't ask for much. Love me? Care about my feelings? Put in some effort from time to time? By no standards are any of those things too much to ask.
But for fuck's sake. I lost ten pounds. TEN fucking POUNDS and there are more perfect strangers happy for me than there are close friends. Susan, my sister, is the ONLY person who's said she's noticed the difference. And even if she's lying (and I'm not saying she is), at least she's fucking encouraging me.
I've been trying so damn hard to lose weight, to maintain a healthier diet, and to weave more physical activity into my lifestyle. And every day I'm doing that all by myself, save for the encouragement of a group of strangers all clustered together in one tiny corner of the world wide web -- SparkPeople. But this is one area of my life where I could use a little encouragement from the people who know me best. I'm struggling to change 24 years worth of grazing and inactivity habits and you people (my friends) don't seem to understand the complexity of it (excluding a very select few -- of which, none are my best friends . . . puzzling.).
How often do I need you? How often do I really ask for something? And how simply manageable is my request when I do have one?
In a time when I could use you more than ever, you're all falling short. Every last one of you.
And I need the fucking ocean and there's nothing else to say about that.
Comments
Second, I'll just say this. I once lost 25 pounds and my exhusband didn't notice. Because he saw me every day. But people that I didn't see often sure noticed. And I saw a friend one time that I hadn't seen in forever and instantly noticed she'd lost a TON of weight. But a friend who saw her daily was like, "Oh, ya, you have." So just maybe that's it. Or maybe they're just bitches. I don't know.
@ Samsmama: Thanks for the encouragement. And thank you for always taking the time to comment on my blog. It's thoughtful and I appreciate that. You may be right that they just didn't see the gradual weight loss, and I shouldn't be angry over that ... but really I'm more angry about them not noticing that I've mega increased my activity level and consciously changed my eating habits. It's frustrating that I'm trying very hard and no one seems to notice. I think they're just bitches.
UGH! I'm so sorry. But it sounds like it's for the best. And even though I didn't know what was going on, I was certainly having a drink (or 7) with/for you last night.
you are seriously such a day brightener for me.
I'm so angry at him right now. So indescribably angry.
But I'm glad to know you were drinking with me last night. It's a warming thought.