I've been in my line of work for a few years now and it's no secret my favorite part is getting to know my clients. More than the friendly competition, the paid holidays, the cliche 'bankers hours,' more than all that, I love getting to know my clients personally.
I have cultivated close, trusting relationships with more clients than I can count and I pride myself on that. I think it's my leg-up, if you will, over my competition and teammates. I know my clients the moment they walk in the door. I know it, they know it. I'd go so far as to say they count on it. People come in the building, see two available teammates and yet, they'll wait for me. I am that good.
All this bragging to say one of the parts I dislike the most is something about those very relationships I'm proud of cultivating. There is something about sitting with me in the lobby of the bank that makes people feel as though they are either 1. laying on a couch in their therapist's office or 2. confessing their darkest sins and expressing their ugliest sides to the priest on the other side of the confessional wall.
I hear it all.
Something I heard today started me thinking about the American perception. Or maybe the perception of 'American.' What is American? I'd like to think Americans are all intelligent enough to know everyone who lives here, excluding actual Native Americans, ultimately descends from someplace else. At one point in our history or another, we have immigration in our ancestry. When it started, there was no policy in place to protect the rights of the natives. The Mayflower fled here for religious freedom. They invaded this land, they ultimately forced those Native Americans into the far-reaches of the continent and they claimed this land as their own as if the Native Americans just didn't exist. I can't help but wonder, how did that make the Native Americans feel?
Speaking of religious freedom, America is a land of many cultures, right? According to a survey done from 1990 to 2000 by UrbanDharma.org, at 76.5% American participation rating, Christianity may be the most common religion in the country, but it is by no means the only one. Second, not counting secular/non-religious people (who come in true second at 13.2%) is Judaism with a whopping 1.3% participation rate. And then, not far behind, coming in at .5% are Islam, Buddhism, and Agnostic.
Another interesting fact about those ratings: while Judaism and Agnostic both dropped by 10% or more in that decade, Islam and Buddhism both increased by over 100%. Wait, wait - don't let your brain jump to 9/11. We're talking about the decade between 1990 and 2000. According to the New York Public Library, there was only one year of conflict during this period - 90-91: the Persian Gulf War.
Let me go back to the comment I heard today so I can give a little back story. There was a beautiful, kind, patient, young woman waiting in the lobby for a co-worker. Her name was Nadia. She was surely middle-eastern, but I don't know where her family was from or what her religion is because I didn't ask her. Here's what I remember about her clothing - the she was dressed very modestly, the dress she wore had beautiful and intricate detailing and she wore a hijab (that's a Muslim woman's veil).
I did not bat an eyelash at her appearance. I didn't even make note of it until another client asked me about her. The client who asked was a client I've grown close to recently - she too is a very kind woman. She comes from California and moved here to be close to her husband's parents. She is funny, interesting, and always has a positive attitude. But then today, out of nowhere, she says to me, "doesn't this woman know she's in America? Make her change her clothes."
This is the kind of ignorance that will eventually get me fired, I'm sure of it. What I did was cast off her commentary as a joke, although she and I both know she didn't mean it that way. What I wanted to do was make a nasty comment to her about the black eye she was sporting because she "ran into the sliding glass door two nights ago." That is what they all say. Just like she cast judgments about Nadia, I could do the same about her relationship at home. But I'm just not that way.
As the day went on, my mind kept going back to Nadia. What did she do to deserve being treated this way? Why is it so unacceptable to wear a hijab, but Mormon underwear aren't even addressed? Did you even know about Mormon underwear? I mean, let's be real and have a laugh at the W.W.J.D. bracelets for a second. Why on earth was that allowed to be an accepted symbol of religion?
All this to say, get over it. This beautiful woman, Nadia, has probably lived here her whole life. And if she hasn't, well that's okay too, because like I said, somewhere down the line your ancestors came here too. Hell, they may have even fled their homeland for a safe haven just like so many are doing now. We just need to find the right way to accept these people, not lump them all into one bad category and call them the enemy.
Lorena Bobbitt cut her husband's penis off, threw it into the grass, and left him for dead before turning herself in. She's a white, middle class woman just like me, but nobody assumes I'm going to do that. In case you forgot it, here's that fun story.
Happy goodnight.
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