creeeeeepers

A count down of the top three creepers in the last two days:

3. Jason (a past trumpet player from Ten 13 Concept) -- It's Easter, I've spent the whole day visiting people and wearing dress clothes. I get home at about 7, sit down at the computer, log onto AIM and get an IM from a vaguely familiar screen name. I asked my sister if she remembered it. She did. This guy is someone I literally hardly know. He took the place of one of my best friends in a band that I did promotions for several years ago. When he came into the band, my participation began to dwindle. Like I said, I hardly knew him. This is how the conversation went:

Creeper (7:43:29 PM): hey

Me (7:44:11 PM): hi...

Creeper (7:44:22 PM): how r ya

Me (7:44:28 PM): i forget your first name.

Me (7:44:32 PM): i'm fine. happy easter.

Me (7:44:34 PM): how are you?

Creeper (7:44:42 PM): same jason urs?

Me (7:44:52 PM): T13C trumpet, right?

Me (7:44:56 PM): Alison.

Creeper (7:45:14 PM): ahhhhhh hey

Me (7:45:43 PM): oh hello. what are you up to these days?

Creeper (7:45:57 PM): nadda ne pics or cam?

Me (7:46:08 PM): what?

Me (7:46:11 PM): definitely not.

Creeper (7:46:22 PM): dont remember what u look like

Me (7:46:30 PM): oh geesh.

Me (7:46:54 PM): i have pictures on my facebook and that's about it.

Me (7:47:24 PM): i'm not high tech enough to do much with pictures and definitely don't care about webcams.

Me (7:56:42 PM): Yep, good talking to you too.

2. The dad of a friend of mine told me recently that if he were available he'd marry me. That came after he told me I "sure [was] beautiful." Barf.

And the winner is...

1. Last night I went to Common Grounds (I'll get to blogging about that later, after I've come off the high of seeing Against Me!), I sat at the bar on the Porch, drinking my PBR. When it was about half gone I got up and went inside, scanned the crowd, texted a couple people, and finished off my beer.

I went back outside, got another beer, and texted the same couple people again. I made friends with some guys and went back inside. Those guys and I parted ways. I was standing, again with my beer in one hand and my phone in the other and these two guys walk up to me.

I wish I had recorded this conversation. I obviously didn't, but it went something like this.

Dude: hi there.

Me: hi.

Dude: You must be really smart. Genius maybe?

Me: I guess that'd be a fact. How could you tell? Was it my ratty flannel and jeans with paint on them, or was it my side-swept hair and librarian glasses?

Dude: No, no. I spotted you from across the room and could tell by the way you carried yourself that you must be really damn smart. I bet you scored real high on your SATs.

(this is when I look around the room and realize there're about 80 teen girls and boys standing around. what is this guy's deal?!)

Me: I did ... several years ago.

Dude: This is my friend Jonathan.

Eventually Against Me! starts and Dude jumps into the pit. I'm standing there, I've finished my beer and Jonathan is sort of ... hovering to my right. I'm in a state of euphoria I haven't felt in years; I have my hands on my head and I'm singing as loud as I fucking can while grinning from ear to ear. As I bring my arms down to my sides, my right arm collides with Jonathan's left arm, which is heading directly for my side. And he goes for it. He puts his fucking hand on my goddamn hip. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

I turned to my right and said, "excuse me," as I pivoted on my heel and walked right the fuck away. I found the boys from outside and spent the rest of the night not too terribly far from them. Then I feel a tap on the inside of my right arm, between my shoulder and elbow. I turn, and surprise surprise, it's Jonathan. He motions for me to come with him. uh... hellfuckno. And so he just stood there. He just stood there while I ignored him. I went so far as to put my arms around the necks of the friendly, normal guys (the ones that didn't touch me inappropriately), and they put their arms around me -- but kept their hands on my shoulders (which is totally acceptable in this environment). I hate people touching me when it's uninvited ... or fucking sneaky.

BARF.